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Best Practices

Listening – Facts Versus Feelings

You are a Champion!

Absolutely nothing will kill a Network Marketing Business faster than not acknowledging people and showing “warmth.” No one wants to be around a cold person.

Bert Decker, You’ve Got To Be Believed To Be Heard writes: “Why do people talk to us? Why do they want us to listen to to them? The vacuum cleaner salesman at your front door talks to you in order to separate you from a portion of your earnings. Fact Listening is the dominant mode for making a thumbs-up, thumbs-down decision on the amazing little technological wonder he wants to sell you.

But the little child tugging at your elbow talks to you in order to receive your attention and acknowledgment. If you respond to her with Fact Listening (as, unfortunately, all too many parents do) real communication will not take place. In fact, the result could be very frustrating for both you and her. You won’t get any data from the child, you’ll feel she is wasting your time. She won’t get the attention and acknowledgment she wants, and will feel hurt and ignored.

Feeling Listening is the form of listening we use for complete communication. It’s the most important form of listening there is. Feeling Listening is active. It is multichannel, involving not just the information channel of mere words, but all the sensory input channels. Feeling Listening involves making First Brain-to-First Brain connection through eye communication. It involves being receptive to nuances and subtle emotional cues in the speaker’s voice, eyes, gestures, and body language.

Feeling Listening is concerned with the facts, but it is very much concerned with getting to the feelings behind the facts. If we don’t get to the feelings, the facts may forever remain obscure.

Perhaps the most important dimension of Feeling Listening is that it involves feedback to the speaker. We feed back acknowledgment of the speaker’s importance and worth by giving steady, attentive eye communication. We feed back understanding and agreement by nodding and giving brief expressions of affirmation: ‘Yes, Uh-huh. Right. Amazing! No kidding? Really?’ We let the speaker know and feel that he or she is being heard. We continually affirm and cement the First Brain-to-First Brain connection that takes place between two people during the act of communication.

So a good listener practices listening for feelings, not just for facts.


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