Stop It!

You are a Champion!

Have you ever been to a meeting and you wondered why you were invited?  Perhaps you are told it’s an input session (you were invited to give some input) and you are never asked for your input.  In fact, you find that one or two people monopolize the evening with nonstop talk.  Not conversation because conversation is a two way street. Finally, the evening is over and you leave feeling like you’ve spent the evening with some alcoholic without control of thought or mouth.

Or, you have what we call in Network Marketing a Business Mixer to expose more people to the products or opportunity (on the theory that more sales can be made in a group than in a one-on-one or two-on-one meeting) and one person leads the mixer with nonstop talk.  You have some really good prospects in the room but they are never asked any questions and never get to express themselves.  At the end of a long evening the event leader says, “If you have any questions we will be happy to stay and answer any questions.”  What was the meeting about?  It’s like that old saying I’ve heard in Arkansas, “We’ll treat you so many different ways you are bound to like some of them.” Some people bring a shotgun to make a sale.  Surely we can hit something if we tell them all we know. People with ego or other issues like to tell you their life story (perhaps several times) and make sure you get the picture of where they’ve been in life.

We’ve all heard that old saying, “Time is Money” and we all know that it’s true.

At this point in your life it may be time to take out pencil and paper and make a list of things “not” to do.  This is so much easier than a to do list.  Why am I doing this now, and why am I doing it this way.  Is this even necessary?  Don’t worry, your list will be long.

People do certain things because “that’s the way it’s done.”  Some people go to work one morning to find out that their job has been automated because a machine can do it cheaper, faster, and without breaks.  Why?  Because some engineer woke up one morning and asked the simple question:  “Why are we doing this and why are we doing it this way?”

After spending mega hours on a career, never seeing the kids grow up, and losing the marriage people wake up one morning and say, “Why did I do this?”  “Why did I trade my life working for this ingrate that could care less about me?”  Leave the building now and never look back.

Now is the time to make a list of things you need to stop doing and people you need to stop doing it for!  Look for things you would rather be doing.

“Don’t find a fault; find a remedy.”  Henry Ford

Positional Leaders

You are a Champion!

“Think influence, not position“

The Influence Challenge, by John Maxwell, The 360 ° Leader:

“It’s a fallacy to believe that people would automatically follow you if you were the positional leader.  Leaders who have actually been on top know that it doesn’t work that way.  Do people follow you now? If they follow you today, then they will follow you tomorrow when you have a better position.  But if people don’t follow you where you are currently, then they won’t follow you where you’re going either.

The only solution to the Influence Challenge is to become the kind of leader other people want to follow.  And what kind of leader would that be?

PEOPLE FOLLOW LEADERS THEY KNOW–Leaders Who Care

Many people try to move others by criticizing them or trying to ‘power up’ on them.  People generally respond by becoming defensive, behaving combatively, or isolating themselves.  Protestant reformer John Knox said, ‘You cannot antagonize and influence at the same time.’

On the other hand, if leaders care about each individual as a person, then people respond well to them. The greater the depth of their concern, the broader and longer lasting their influence.  Bo Schembechler, former head coach of the University of Michigan football team, remarked, ‘Deep down, your players must know you care about them.  This is the most important thing.  I could never get away with what I do if the players felt I didn’t care.  They know, in the long run, I’m in their corner.’

People can sense how you feel about them. They can tell the difference between leaders who are using them for their own gain and those who want to help them succeed.  People warm up to warm people. They get to know the heart of someone who cares, and they respond well to them.  I think of it this way: second-mile leaders produce second-mile followers.  If you go out of your way to care about others and help them, then they will go out of their way to help you when you ask them to.”

“…Several years ago, I coauthored a book called Becoming a Person of Influence with Jim Dornan.  Many people tell me that of all my books, it is their favorite.  Why is that?  I believe it’s because it’s a book on leadership for people without leadership positions.  It’s especially popular among people involved in network marketing, because their business is entirely influenced based.”

If we observe nature (how things work) we will find that the Bee Keeper is not afraid of his bees.  He’s not their boss (the smallest bee will sting the largest human disregarding life and limb) but they will share their honey with those getting too close to the hive.  The Bee keeper is not “threatening” to those busy little bees that are going about their work. He belongs in their daily activities and lives.

Most of God’s creatures (including humans) will act in a predictable manner if we will just observe and learn.

“Become a person that people will want to follow.”

Set The Pace

You are a Champion!

Leaders Can Set The Pace, by John Maxwell, The 360 ° Leader:

“♥ Leaders love progress. It’s one of their primary motivations.  That’s why explorer David Livingston said, ‘I will go anywhere provided it is forward.’  As a leader, you probably love moving forward, and the faster the better.  But that also can work against you.  If you are running so far ahead that your people can’t follow, then your organization won’t succeed.  Achievers often cross the finish line first, but leaders rarely do.  A leader’s success comes from bringing others across the finish line with them.

In Winning with People, the Patience Principle states that the journey with others is slower than the journey alone.  That’s true in every area of life where you are trying to lead.  A trip to the grocery store is much faster alone than it is if you have to take your children.  A business trip with a group of colleagues is never as fast as one by yourself.  (Doesn’t it take thirty minutes just to get everyone to agree on a place to eat?)  A single golfer can play a course in nearly half the time it takes a foursome.

As a leader, you may be able to model the behavior you desire in others, but you will not be able to go as quickly as you want. Too many people seem to share the attitude of humorous poet Ogden Nash, who wrote, ‘Progress might have been all right once, but it’s going on entirely too long.’  The only people who will fight for progress the way you do, and move as quickly, will probably be other leaders.”

Self-Promotion	Selfless Promotion
Me first	Others first
Move up	Build up
Guard information	Share information
Take credit	Give credit
Hog the ball (star)	Pass the ball
Dodge the ball (blame)	Share the ball
Manipulate others	Motivate others

♥  Self-promotion says, ‘If you don’t toot your own horn, no one will toot it for you.’ Selfless promotion says, ‘I just want to help the team make beautiful music.’

“You must be interested in finding the best way, not in having your own way.”  John Wooden

Top People

You are a Champion!

The Influence Myth, by John Maxwell, The 360 ° Leader:

“If I were on top, then people would follow me.”

“I once read that President Woodrow Wilson had a housekeeper who constantly lamented that she and her husband didn’t possess more prestigious positions in life.  One day the lady approached the president after she heard that the secretary of labor had resigned from the administration.

‘President Wilson,’ she said, ‘my husband is perfect for his vacant position.  He is a laboring man, knows what labor is, and understands laboring people.  Please consider him when you appoint the new secretary of labor.’

‘I appreciate your recommendation,’ answered Wilson, ‘but you must remember, the secretary of labor is an important position.  It requires an influential person.’

‘But,’ the housekeeper said, ‘if you made my husband the secretary of labor, he would be an influential person!’

People who have no leadership experience have a tendency to overestimate the importance of a leadership title. That was the case for President Wilson’s housekeeper.  She thought that leadership was a reward that someone of importance could grant.  But influence doesn’t work that way.  You may be able to grant someone a position, but you cannot grant him real leadership.  Influence must be earned.

A position gives you a chance.  It gives you the opportunity to try out your leadership.  It asks people to give you the benefit of the doubt for a while.  But given some time, you will earn your level of influence–for better or worse.  Good leaders will gain in influence beyond their stated position.  Bad leaders will shrink their influence down so that it is actually less than what originally came with the position.  Remember, a position doesn’t make a leader, but a leader can make the position.”

“The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg–not smashing it.” Arnold Glasow

Shock and Awe

You are a Champion!

The Freedom Myth, by John Maxwell, The 360 ° Leader:

“Sometimes I think people get the wrong idea about leadership. Many people hope that it’s a ticket to freedom. It will provide a solution to their professional and career problems. But being at the top is not a cure-all.

Have you entertained the idea that being in charge will change your life? Have thoughts such as these come to mind from time to time?

When I get to the top, I’ll have it made.
When I finally finish climbing the corporate ladder. I’ll have time to rest.
When I own the company, I’ll be able to do whatever I want.
When I’m in charge, the sky will be the limit.

Anybody who has owned a company or been the top leader in an organization knows that those ideas are little more than fantasies. Being the top leader doesn’t mean you have no limits. It doesn’t remove the lid from your potential. It doesn’t matter what job you do or what position you obtain; you will have limits. That’s just the way life is.

When you move up in an organization, the weight of your responsibility increases. In many organizations, as you move up the ladder, you may even find that the amount of responsibility you take on increases faster than the amount of authority you receive. When you go higher, more is expected of you, the pressure is greater, and the impact of your decisions weights more heavily. You must take these things into account.”

I always find it interesting when others envy the positions of leaders and wish they were as “lucky.”

If we will follow our heart to success we can avoid a lot of “shock and awe” when the generic ideas we may have had don’t materialize as we thought they would.

Travel your own path to freedom!

” Influencing others is a matter of disposition, not position.”  John Maxwell

A lot of people may be shocked but not awed by our actions.

Choose Happiness

You are a Champion!

The Traveler’s Gift, Andy Andrews, 2002:

“Today I will choose to be happy.  Our lives are fashioned by choice,Mr. Ponder.

First we make choices.  Then our choices make us.

My life—my personality, my habits, even my speech—is a combination of the books I choose to read, the people I choose to listen to, and the thoughts I choose to tolerate in my mind.  Life itself is a privilege, but to live life to its fullest—well, that is a choice.

Happiness is a choice. Laughter is an outward expression of enthusiasm, and I know that enthusiasm is the fuel that moves the world.  People are drawn to me because I have laughter in my heart.  The world belongs to the enthusiastic, for people will follow them anywhere!

I do not sing because I am happy; I am happy because I sing! My smile is the key to my emotional makeup.  In the past, I have found discouragement in particular situations until I compared the condition of my life to others less fortunate.  Just as a fresh breeze cleans smoke from the air, so a grateful spirit removes the cloud of despair.

It is impossible for the seeds of depression to take root in a thankful heart.”

False Hope

You are a Champion!

Some of my articles will talk about Dreaming Big and other articles talk about my perceived reality because reality is about perception. I think it would be very difficult to really get a handle on true reality.

However, one of my objectives is to not give False Hope to anyone. In my opinion, one of the reasons that Network Marketing is so successful for some, and not the majority, has to do with the fact that many people use great products and talk about the products. In my opinion, they may not get paid a lot for doing so because of one word and that word is commitment. They are not willing to do those things that it will take to be successful and be one of the few.

Do I believe that there are people making serious money in Network Marketing? You bet! Do I believe that many of the people in Network Marketing will be seriously successful in the business? Not at all!

One of the most successful Distributorships (in our upline) talked about relaxed intensity because they were wildly successful and, you might say, very intense. Their commitment level was far beyond the average Network Marketers and this created a place for them among the few. However, if you were to do a search for them on the Internet you wouldn’t be too successful.

Many of us like to read a lot and when we pick up a book the first thing we do is look at the author to see if we want to spend time reading their book. Often, we find that they are President of some Consulting Group, a University Professor, etc. Their resume is always fairly impressive. And while I don’t discount their material, and may read their book, I don’t necessarily give their information a special place in my heart. Being book smart is OK but we all know that this is not the same as having arrived (from a knowledge or experience perspective).

Most of us ask some questions when we see an impressive resume. First, if you’re so good at what your promoting why aren’t you still doing that instead of writing books and selling CDs to make a living? If it works so well for everyone else why isn’t it working for you?

This question is why people often listen to those actually doing the business instead of those telling how to do the business. Teaching has its place even though most follow by example. And so, we are not discounting their knowledge and advise because teachers often do give us good information. People do decide for good reasons to go in other directions from what they are selling or teaching. Some have retired from the business (even though very successful) and are just passing on their knowledge.

Be as truthful as you can and don’t give out false hope. We don’t need to exaggerate our success because the business does work. We are the ones that will be surprised by those who make it when we thought they wouldn’t.

Gap Analysis

You are a Champion!

Before and After pictures are often used in selling cosmetic type products or procedures.

Michel Fortin has a good article about applying the law of contrast to build desire:

“A gap is the perceived difference between the problem and the potential outcome. That is, you have to describe life with the problem and life without it.

Your product, which is your solution, is the bridge between the two. Showing the benefits enables you to position your product as the bridge over the gap.

Once the gap is established, your words can widen the gap by aggravating (or blowing up) the problem, or by pushing away the solution.

The process consists of only four steps:

1. Introduce the problem.
2. Introduce the “other side”.
3. Widen the gap.
4. Bridge the gap.

I’ve only picked a few key points from the article but emphasizing gaps between problems and solutions (painting your product or service as the solution) is key to successful selling.

“You also emphasize how urgent it is to solve the problem. Use vivid descriptions and mental imagery to enlarge the effects of the problem going unsolved.

Then you can move on to the final step.

Now, with perfect timing, you release your solution. It’s at this point that your solution will be far more in demand. By finally bridging the gap, they can grasp more fully how achievable ‘the other side’ really is, and increases their desire to buy your solution in order to reach it.

Of course, you can and should lower price sensitivity by increasing the value of your solution. But by using Gap Analysis and the power of contrast, you make the pain of paying for your solution a lot more bearable in contrast to the pain of not owning it.”

Widen the gap!

Why Have a Dream?

You are a Champion!

How many times have you heard the phrase, “Let’s get realistic” and so this article is about realism.

It’s August 28, 1963 and you’ve just finished your “I have a Dream” speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Your name is Martin Luther King, Jr.

Your mind wanders to the year 2008 (45) years later as you envision a young charismatic black man just winning the nomination as the Democratic nominee for President of the United States and your dream seems to be on course (perhaps slower than you would like).

Instead of using a stage name like Larry King the young man uses his real name Barack Hussein Obama, Jr. who was born almost exactly two years before your “I have a Dream” speech. Barack is a relatively unknown well educated junior Senator from the State of Illinois. Barack writes his first book in 1995: Dreams from My Father.

Just seven years ago nineteen Muslims are accused of hijacking planes with box cutters to carry out a holy war under the direction of a man named Osama bin Laden. These (19) men defeat the air defense systems of the United States (even hitting the Pentagon or symbol of that system) without the military firing a shot.

The President of the United States dreams of eliminating another Arab whose name literally means in Arabic: “Someone who frequently Causes Collisions” or “powerful collider” or “Saddam” Hussein while the original known accused of frequently causing collisions (Osama bin Laden) remains free.

Back on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial MLK rises to say a few more words regarding his dream and give you a future view of the 21st century that, in accordance with the Gregorian calendar, begins January 1, 2001. I begin with that new century and talk about my vision of the next seven years….

Dear Friends,

Don’t discount your dreams or the dreams of other people. Your problem has been that your dreams are way too small so “let’s get realistic!”

Influence

You are a Champion!

Have you ever had someone come up to you and ask you a question and before you even finish your first or second sentence they turn and talk to someone else or walk away? You didn’t even get to answer their question! What did that tell you about the person? They just said, “I’m really not interested in you or what you have to say.” Even though this may be a habit, and they do this unconsciously, their message is very clear. Therefore, the persons influence with you has been destroyed by their unconscious action.

Many people wonder why they have no influence even though the answer is obvious to those around them. They either consciously or unconsciously make it clear to you and others that they really don’t care about us or what we think.

When they talk, it’s generally about their problems or their likes or their dislikes. They talk about their relatives, their pets, their problems, their life issues, their job, their intense interests or subjects, and their everything. In Network Marketing this particular subject comes up a lot because it becomes a big issue in our success in the business. This is a people business! If people don’t like what we have to talk about, think we are high maintenance or selfish, rude or embarrassing, and don’t want to be around us then how are we going to have success in the business? If people see us coming and want to turn and go the other direction we have a problem. Yes, the problem is us!

When we become the object of our affection that’s called narcissism not influence.

When we have a friend, marriage relationship, family member, and acquaintances that takes more than they give to the relationship then the relationship will probably be weak and/or become nonexistent.

What if we start a relationship (business, church, job, marriage, etc.) and the message becomes critical or negative? At some point we begin to ask ourselves why do I belong to this group or why am I around this person? I feel better when I’m not here so why am I here?

Don’t internalize life to the point that people don’t want to come around. We should want others to gain energy from our presence instead of feeling a significant energy drain.

Sometimes in a relationship (take work for example) bosses feel they need to “nip something in the bud.” There are effective and ineffective ways to correct behavior. With ineffective ways, the only thing that’s being accomplished is the end of a relationship and perhaps we have just delayed the physical separation (the mental separation just took place). Strong relationships take significant commitment and work. Just like in marriage, the only difference between failure and success is the level of commitment to make this relationship work. If we want a strong Network Marketing business we need to give this subject some thought. Do we have influence? If we have influence people will follow us and that’s called leadership.

If we don’t have influence we need to take full responsibility for our actions and begin to focus externally on those around us. Self absorption will cause us to fail and the reason may be obvious to everyone except us. It only takes a few words or actions to destroy our influence.